Some people’s self-esteem becomes so intertwined with money that when they suffer major losses they entertain suicidal thoughts as a function of shame, humiliation, and helplessness. If you base your essential human value on your net worth, your compensation package, and/or your production as compared to your colleagues then your sense of self can be easily threatened by external forces, and panic and even terror can set in when the market is “not going your way.” Markets constantly ... Continue Reading

The essential component of treatment for co-dependency focuses on becoming introspective, and “getting one’s own life.” Co-dependent maneuvers allow people to avoid focusing on themselves and developing healthy narcissism. They are very busy doing good works and taking care of others. However, they invariably build up a reservoir of resentment, rage, pain, and envy. Then they are often adept at painting themselves as the victim. The Director of Administration for a boutique investment firm I ... Continue Reading

The primary co-dependency issue for the financial professional involves falling into the abyss of only feeling worthy, happy, righteous, and confident if one’s production—generally, the amount of commission/bonus/”slice of the pie”—is at least adequate, and supports his desired lifestyle. This is the inherent occupational hazard, or trap, for the financial professional: feeling that his sense of self-worth, his value as a human being, and his happiness are all dependent on what can sometimes ... Continue Reading

Some relationships are easier than others to sever. In those instances, you need to instead focus on lessening the constriction of the ties that bind. For instance, in one of those very unusual situations you can come across as a psychologist, I had worked with two very wealthy Middle Eastern twin brothers who were very successful money managers. They wanted to engage in this manner, and I agreed. It was no doubt, quite novel. Let’s just say ‘they were joined at the hip psychically.’ They ... Continue Reading

If ever there was an adage that over-simplified the essence of the co-dependent relationship, it is this: "Better the evil you know, then the evil you don't know."  The classic example of the co-dependent relationship revolves around substance abuse, which is why one of the building blocks of such treatment regimens is disassociation with other habitual users or enablers. However, based on my extensive experience treating Wall Street professionals for the last several decades, I have found ... Continue Reading

In my years of counseling FPs, I have seen certain behavioral patterns emerge among superiors and subordinates. For instance, I had a female patient, by most outwardly appearances, a successful Director of Administration for a New York-based investment boutique firm. She was 52 years old, divorced 20 years ago and currently single. She never had children. My patient had been reporting directly to the Chief Executive Officer for more than 12 years, in an administrative capacity, which ... Continue Reading

We all seem to have a natural talent for knowing what things are worth, and what we will in fact be willing to pay for them. Historically, however, it has been well documented that this process can go awry. “Tulipmania” was coined when a “rare” bulb had the equivalent value of 12 acres of land in Holland (a very small country) in 1637. Some of us are content to drive a Subaru, others must drive a Range Rover. Value is in the eye, wallet, and “self-esteem system” of the beholder. ... Continue Reading

Many young people (and people of all ages frankly) frequently correlate their self-worth and value as a person with their portfolio size and/or net worth. In our money driven culture one can almost not help it. However, at the center of self-esteem is an inherent evaluative/appraisal process. The interactions between self esteem and money can be profound. Literally one can “feel like a million bucks” at certain life junctures. Self esteem refers to a person’s overall sense of self-worth and ... Continue Reading

Determining what is important and what has meaning, and value, for you as an individual is critical. Especially when it comes to money. There’s only so much that goes around (for most of us). John D. Rockefeller kept a “book” on each of his children. They all had weekly chores, and they received an allowance based on production and task complexity. He wanted to teach them “the value of a dollar.” According to Forbes he is still considered America’s richest man relative to inflation and ... Continue Reading

Budgeting, revenue generation, maintaining a strong credit rating (FICO score), and protecting your identity are all essential. Mastering the painful art and science of saving is very important. Contrary to “popular opinion,” and our rich fantasy lives, money does not grow on trees. Even very wealthy people have to budget if they want to avoid obstacles, and achieve their goals and missions relatively smoothly. Choosing a career path that matches your passions and skill sets is paramount. One ... Continue Reading

Peer pressure is the influence and power one’s peer group has in order to encourage or persuade a person to change their attitudes, their thinking and belief systems, their values, and even their deep inner feelings in order to conform to the group norm or ethic. It is an incredibly powerful force. There are reports of people asserting that they actually "surrendered" themselves to the group in order to be liked, approved of, and accepted. Very few of us have the wherewithal and/or courage to ... Continue Reading

It's your life and they're your goals, or they should be. You walk/run/jog in your own Nikes, Pumas, or Jordans. If you want to make money a huge part of your life, then so be it. Money is not inherently bad; money is the back story of history. Money created civilization, and democracy. Niall Ferguson's book The Ascent of Money: A Financial History of the World poignantly documents these concepts. Money can provide freedom, security, safety, flexibility, and a sense of well-being. But money ... Continue Reading

Image, from the Latin, is an artifact that has some similar appearance to a subject. The important point here is that by definition image is not truly real, but we are led to, trained to, and persuaded to think and believe image is real! We become so finely conditioned that we think perception and image are absolute realities. People project all kinds of images in different situations and at different points in time, and at different points in their life as a function of a myriad of factors. ... Continue Reading

People are very curious and very interested in money, especially in what others have and where they stand in comparison.  In our culture people are frequently evaluated by their portfolio size (or what others deem the ‘size’ to be). Image can be everything regardless of the underlying realities and facts of life. People brag about their gains, and they brag about their loses. They often need to feel like they are “players.” We live in a competitive, status conscious culture where one is tempted ... Continue Reading

We live in a culture where we’ve been conditioned to want ‘stuff and things’ we don’t really need. The marketing language of persuasion is very powerful in the media and throughout society. Edward Bernays is considered to be the father of public relations. His work on the engineering of consent and crystallizing public opinion is widely recognized. He was instrumental in helping to create a culture of desires rather than needs. And we’ve been trained to think we need luxury items beyond the call ... Continue Reading

Criterion behavior focuses on what you (the individual person) bring to the table. Your imagination, inventiveness, communication skills, cognitive skills, productivity, work ethic, character, personality, courage, self-respect and respect for other people are paramount for life success. This, ultimately, is much more important than what your father does for a living, your zip code, or the ‘reputation/rating’ of your college. These factors can be very important in terms of networking ... Continue Reading

Shareholders, investors, and all citizens of the world need heroes: honorable, smart, diligent, mindful, hardworking, innovative men and women who govern the finest companies in America. It is easy to get embroiled and beaten down by the negative, the fraudulent, the unseemly, the marginal, the deceptive. James Sinegal and Millard “Mickey” Drexler represent corporate leaders of the finest caliber. We need heroes, we need leaders, we need corporate giants that we can look up to, and ... Continue Reading

Sustainability of the companies we co-own can only be enhanced and bolstered by rules of engagement which aspire to consummate professionalism. Trading is at the heart of many Wall Street firms. What follows are techniques guidelines, ideals, and suggestions which can inspire the savvy trader to excel and maintain their decorum in the stormy mad ride and “weather” of the trading world where split nanosecond decisions are made incessantly. There is never a dull moment in this universe. In the ... Continue Reading

“Co-dependency” is an emotional and behavioral condition that can severely affect an individual’s potential to develop satisfying relationships. Co-dependency can be characterized as an addiction to an unhealthy relationship, wherein relationship is primarily one-sided, emotionally damaging, and even abusive. The disorder was first identified as a result of analyses of interpersonal relationships among family members of alcoholics and substance abusers. The well-known concept of “enabling” ... Continue Reading

It is extremely puzzling when highly successful people become embroiled in frauds and schemes that have the potential of shaking the global financial system to its core. There are some very sophisticated, highly intelligent Wall Street players that have had to navigate extremely treacherous waters, undone by greed. One has to wonder how persons of this caliber allowed themselves to be ensnared so easily. Didn’t they know better? Couldn’t they see how the fraud would end? Why didn’t they ... Continue Reading

Based on my practice experience, I would venture to say that hedge fund managers, as a group, consider themselves superior both materially and in terms of how they perceive their value and self-importance. They do walk the earth with huge sums of money in their pockets. Much of this self-importance is validated in the compensation model, where a hedge fund manager usually receives both a management fee and a performance fee from the fund. This has traditionally been referred to the "2 and 20" ... Continue Reading

More commonly referred to as a “God Complex,” Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is characterized by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders as "a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and a lack of empathy."[2] Think of this combination of traits: “a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and a lack of empathy.” In my practice, I personally witness various levels of narcissistic behavior, where the adulation is generated internally, ... Continue Reading

Giants abound on Wall Street. To excel to great heights in the world of finance requires a rare combination of exceptional intelligence, political savvy, business acumen, tireless dedication and motivation, a genuine work ethic, and an unusual level of persistence. Family relationships, privilege, and access to power and resources may play a role in an individual’s corporate ascension. Others may possess extraordinary cunning and ruthlessness to seize control within the inner sanctum. ... Continue Reading